No More Secrets

No More Secrets

4.18.14

Keeping wrongs that have been done to us, or that we’ve done to others secret creates pain. Hidden hurts affect us holistically. Physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually secrets breed misery. Wholeness comes by bringing light to what’s hidden. This happens through sharing our secrets. Fear can hold us back. But the freedom truth brings is priceless.

Remember you’re mom asking you to clean your room? Overwhelmed we stuff the dirty laundry and half eaten sandwiches under the bed. Psychologically we can tend to do the same thing with our secrets. What we don’t want to look at we hide. But a few days later we smell something. It’s the half eaten sandwich. We push it further under the bed.

The next week we can’t take it any longer. We find the hidden sandwich. Now it’s molded and disgusting. It’s too gross to touch. So we move it further under the bed. Decay ensues. The room becomes unbearable to sleep in. The stench permeates the rest of the house.

The sandwich signifies the secret in this analogy. Not wanting to feel the pain of our incident(s) of abuse, or neglect we hide from it. But why do we hide? What’s the risk? Maybe we’re worried the police will be called. Perhaps the person who hurt us will get in trouble. Maybe they’ll go to prison. I’ll be responsible! Lie. The person who hurts us is responsible for their imprisonment – not the victim.

Nationally statistics state that 1 out of 5 female children experiences sexual abuse. Childhood sexual abuse happens to 1 in 20 boys. The most defenseless time in a child’s life is age 7 to 13. Sadly, in 3 out of 4 children abuse takes place by someone they know well.[1] The earlier abuse is disclosed the better they’re chances are for a healthy adulthood.

Maybe we’re scared of our family’s reaction. We may feel guilt or shame. Maybe it involves a family member. Or, we might get in trouble. Maybe we think we’re the reason it happened in the first place. The person who hurt us may have threatened us. They might hurt us worse than before, or our family. The longer we hide the greater the amount of emotional distress. There are risks in telling the truth. Do the risks outweigh the shame? We have a choice. One choice makes us sick and one makes us well. What’s yours?