As a survivor of childhood trauma I always looked at what I wasn’t instead of all that I was, my inner beauty. This is why I’ve created the Beautiful: Healing from the Inside Out 3 part event series. Society tells us to “man up.” That we should just “get over it.” They don’t understand that childhood sexual, emotional and physical abuse, neglect, abandonment, having an absentee or abusive father, or not knowing our father creates misery. It can feel like we have holes in our hearts. To fill up the emptiness, guilt and shame we often turn to toxic relationships, food and/or drugs and alcohol with no lasting satisfaction. Our culture spends so much advertising enforcing the lies that we need to be thin, young, good looking, smart, successful and have the latest iPhone to be happy. So we spend our precious energy trying to live up to the high expectations society silently places on us only to find ourselves depressed, overwhelmed and stressed out because we never meet them. We’re trained to look at all we don’t have instead of what we do have; like our inner beauty and the workings of our hearts and minds. These things no one can take away. But hurt and pain throw mud at the lens we look through. That’s why the view of ourselves, and the world is often distorted. It’s hard to see the truth, the truth of our inner beauty.
Keeping my sexual abuse a secret for decades and hoping that what the world told me would make me feel better was true – I went for it. Moving to Los Angeles, working in Hollywood with celebrities on movies, having money for clothes and things, living the party life and all that it includes did not numb the pain. It only increased. Finally seeing the truth with the help of a friend, the mud began to slide off my lens of the world and myself. I began to see the lies I had held onto. Finally realizing no girl or boyfriend, no job or drug could keep the pain away I stopped trying to run away from the hurt and face it. It was then I began the healing process. Uncovering hidden hurts and unforgiveness the inner beauty was revealed. The more beauty I accepted within myself, the more inner peace I experienced. Having peace in my heart is living the good life. Being in control of my emotions instead of them controlling me is living large. This is why I’ve created the Beautiful: Healing from the Inside Out 3 part event series. They’re daylong events where you’ll I’ll share psychological strategies that have been helpful for me and will hopefully be for you as well. First in the event series of 3 is Restoring. Second is Renewing and third is Reviving. If you want to turn your suffering into success come join me in this safe environment where you can spend day relaxing and reflecting discovering more of the beauty that’s in you right now.